Everyone knows someone in their inner circle with a vanity hitch.
It’s the player who claims to be in the single digits – but rarely breaks 85 when playing them.
In golf, we often talk about sandbags, but pointless handicaps can be just as common.
You’ll usually notice it in a few ways:
- They play better alone
- Gimmes are generous
- Mulligans abound
Is this you? Here are three signs that your handicap is too low.
You don’t record your worst rounds
This is one of the most obvious ways a golfer wears a vanity handicap.
If you only post good rounds, that’s all your handicap is based on. The recipe for calculating the handicap depends on the correct scoring for all of them rounds that meet the official handicap criteria. (For more information on how to correctly post scores for an accurate handicap index, check your local or national golf association’s website.)
If you play several rounds of golf during the week, your handicap index will look drastically different if you take out your “puff round” of 93. Many golfers end up six holes deep and decide “this is not posting.” If you’re looking for accuracy, post the bad rounds too.
A lot of fiction
This is the silent killer in terms of a legitimate handicap.
PGA Tour players make just over 90 percent of their putts with four feet. If a tournament player misses one in 10 shots from this distance, imagine how much you (an amateur) would miss if you dropped every single one.
Occasionally I do gimme within three feet. However, anything outside of three feet is an absolute “must shoot”. You are not good enough to consider a four-legged automaton. Respect the game and put it out.
Just as bad as getting too much exercise is the oh-so-familiar “re-shoot.”
This is defined as:
(a) Miss your first inside shot by about eight feet
(b) Then setting it up again with claims like:
- “I didn’t line it up.”
- “I had to clear my ball.”
- “I rushed it.”
- “I usually do them.”
Excuses aside, you missed the putt. Tap it for bogey and move on to the next hole.
My childhood best friend said it perfectly: “If you have to take a trick, you were nervous about missing the putt.”
Too many “unplayable” shots or too many mulligans
Now that’s a bad fried egg lie. I took a picture and then started to mentally prepare for what was sure to be a blow hole.
My wife asked me if I would move it. I shook my head and said, “No, I have to play it like it’s lying.”
If you’re playing for fun and not keeping score, go ahead and move it. If you’re grinding every day with the goal of becoming a single-digit handicap or a scratch golfer, play it like it is. You’re only hurting yourself by getting beat on difficult shots, not to mention maintaining an accurate handicap index.
Mulligans are the last thing we will focus on that negatively affects the handicap calculation.
If you hit a bad shot, a mulligan might seem like a logical move. If you’re focused on maintaining an accurate handicap, it’s the worst possible move.
This mulligan can make a difference in just one shot on the scorecard, but it’s likely to have a positive impact on you much more than you think.
You see, if you hit your ball into the water, you’re not just saving one shot, but potentially two or three, because you have to avoid the pressure of hitting the same shot again, potentially with the same disastrous result.
I’m all for a breakfast ball on the first ball (unless you’ve warmed up on the range) in a friendly game, but I discourage any mulligans outside of that. Mulligans are a big problem when it comes to having an accurate handicap.
Final thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably rethinking some of the way you play golf.
You don’t need to change – but don’t be surprised if you feel a little uncomfortable showing up to a cash game or tournament wearing a vanity handicap as a badge of honor. You will inevitably pay the price.
If you accurately track your handicap, you may find yourself making more money, avoiding embarrassment, and maybe even sleeping a little better. Don’t be the guy who claims it’s a 5 handicap on the first and ends up resting an 89.
