Maybe it shouldn’t have been asked. Not after Thursday, when he turned back the clock for his 14/18 Masters first round, only to come undone at the par-5 15th (quadruple bogey), par-3 16th (double bogey) and par-4 17th (double bogey). Nine-five-four. You call it on a phone, but never on a golf course, if you want to answer the bell.
Perhaps the idiotic question shouldn’t have been asked after the atrocity at the par-3 12th and 15th. Thirty-four years ago, on the 12th, on his way to victory, his ball somehow took a spot on the green slope, leaving Rae’s Creek down thirsty. This Friday, after he pulled back a few times before swinging, his ball landed in the same area, took the same number of drops — and went in. On Thursday the 15thhe found the pond that twice protects the front of the green on his way to the back nine. On Friday, he threw a ball in the water, but hope, of course, is less than that. “I’ve never put it in the water or really put it 15 feet over the green,” he said. “In the old days, I used to go for it every time, but not for 10 or 12 years, and then now it’s water, water, water every time I look at the damn thing and I don’t know why.”
Perhaps the idiotic question shouldn’t have been asked as he realizes that his singular identity to the masses – one of the best to ever hit a stationary ball – is becoming unrecognizable as time goes on. In top-level golf, birthdays add candles and putts. On Thursday at the Masters, he shot a 78. On Friday, a 75. Maybe this year is the 66-year-old’s last, though it’s unlikely. But maybe next year. His farewell is coming.
And yet, perhaps now is the ideal time to ask. He declared his feelings ahead of this year’s Master. What do they say in their wedding vows? For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? Do you still like something when things don’t go your way? You can get a bit of a hymn if he did. On it. At the Masters and Augusta National, which, while not necessary, are always welcome, given the various states of world affairs (and we’ll leave it at that).
And there he was on Friday, still stricken. He was practically dancing as he bogeyed the par-4 9th after a soft-landing wedge, and every man, woman and child took a pounding on the way to the 10th. On his way to 11, he bypassed the roped path, picked up another rope about 50 meters to his left, and just walked through the crowd. Five dudes looked up from their green beer mugs to see him in front of them. His move on the 14th was the epitome of “tempo”. But that’s how it moved. The connection. A driver’s header into the empty fairway before leaning on the club to grab his tee. A bowed head. Stretching the chest forward towards the ball in the middle of the green floor under the blue roof. Walking down 17th Street, he even licked his finger to clean his driver’s face. Standing on the 18th tee, he licked his golf ball to remove some dirt.
But customers love it. They love it. If the Masters has a green-jacket-wearing mascot, it would be him, the 1992 green-jacket winner. Ask a security guard in the second set how her day is going, and she’ll tell you about the “king” who came early. Ask the US Mid-Am winner Brandon Holtz who he would like to play a practice round with and his name comes up first.
So let’s ask this:
Why do you think customers love it?
“Well, I’m better here than the other tournaments. I can be real about this. I’ll give you a real answer.”
We wouldn’t have it any other way. He continued.
“I have a lot of respect for this country. I have a lot of respect for golf.”
And this is part of what I heard when I asked:
Why do you love Augusta National?
Here are his first 114 words.
“You know, as a kid you grow up watching it. I can’t tell you, you know, Sam Snead and what he did, Hubert Green, and then Jack Nicklaus won and Tom Weiskopf. They were all the greats. Weiskopf, Green, Sneed, they never won and maybe they should have.
“Then you come here, and you finally see it, and you go, you know, it’s — I mean, the only other guy I’ve ever really heard use the same words is Phil (Mickelson). It’s like heaven. People love it, but I think it’s just the best walk you could ever take.
“There are great courses all over the world, but none like this one.”
And here are the last 31 words for Fred Couples’ answer:
“First of all, you’d have to be an idiot not to love Augusta National. I don’t know if you can use those words, but they might like that, hearing that.”
;)
