In news that will shock no one, the 2024 Kazakh GP has been canceled and replaced by a more predictable race.
what Can we go back to the beginning?
for sure. Kazakhstan GP dreamed for the first time in 2022. Dorna, to please DEI Drivel, came up with the following absurd requirements for the new competition.
- The weather is cold and wet
- The local residents are dressed in simple but angry and funny clothes
- The locals have bad teeth and bad breath.
- No one understands his accent.
- It is located in the middle of the desert
Using the above criteria in Scotland, Knockhill was the obvious choice. However, the event was said to conflict with Highland’s Miss McHairyLegs Bagpipe Balloon Festival, so Dorna decided to award the contract to an unbuilt track in the middle of Kazakhstan instead. This means that the planned event will have the added bonus of a failed Soyuz rocket launch potentially raining debris into the process.
2022? So what happened?
The competition was held in It was planned to take place in Kazakhstan in 2023, with a ‘minimum’ specification to build the entire track and facilities within 12 months. This is said to be an easy task as the country will use supplies from Hare Krishna evacuees this month.
Sadly, soon the mischievous locals spend most of their time eating sperm soup in kurts and racing saiga antelopes through the swamps instead of making tracks.
So it was cancelled?
Unsurprisingly yes. However, Dorna said that this was just a technical failure and that the race is 100% sure to go ahead in 2024, and provided them with a drone photo to prove it.
So it’s over?
Of course not. At this point, the mischievous locals spend most of their time fighting the y-front in the rain instead of building a track. However, the district owners got up their hands and claimed that their tracks were flooded due to ‘below average’ rainfall this year. The flood is said to have ‘washed away many features of the district to the extent that these areas appear to have never been started’.
So it was canceled again?
of course! But the owners of the silly track said that without the flood the circuit would have been 100% complete and will be completed again later in the year. Unfortunately, malnutrition was a fib biting them on the arm…
what happened?
The Indian GP has been cancelled.
what And why?
Indian GP – The most forgettable and pointless race on the MotoGP calendar. Again shockingly, the tournament organizers were ‘a bit stupid’ and ran their money through a fraudulent call centre.
Dorna Koffia thought it would be a good idea to return to Kazakhstan for the tournament scheduled for September after the canceled tournament.
And guess what, the track is still not finished?
correct. Instead, the locals sit around eating oatmeal and beef stew about the UK government… Oh wait, that Knockhill again…
Anyway, the Kazakh event was canceled for the 50s.Th She says that time and Dorna will only trust them a few more times. Maybe ten.
So where now?
The taken, scrapped, moved, scrapped Kazakhstan event has been replaced by a much more predictable tournament in Misano, Italy.
Hooray! But don’t we have competition here?
Yes! And that’s the best. The second race, called the ‘Emilio Estevez GP’, will take place two weeks after the actual Misano race. This should allow all teams to have as much information as possible to ensure that the competition is as boring and predictable as possible.
Is that the end of it?
Not exactly. The second race is on the 22ndTh The month of September coincides with the Italian round of the World Superbikes, which takes place in the Crematorium circuit. Until this year, no one had seen the World Superbikes since the mid-90s, but this season has seen a major challenge for spectators. The increased interest is mainly thanks to the fact that WSBK is the only world championship that Ducati is beating – thanks to the skills of Toprak Razgatlıasbhwqwe18erfashgfrweqaAR on the crappy BMW.
So, all in all, is it completely messed up?
Technically yes.
