My first guest member felt like a disaster. But here’s what I learned

Golf is TOUGH. You don’t need a disabled person with a fancy job title like “GOLF Instruction Editor” to tell you that.

But just because you know, big picture, that it’s hard, doesn’t mean that every bogey, mat, slice, hook, fiddle or 3-shot it is easier to swallow. The game humbles even the best players in the world by reminding them of this just a small mistake it can lead to a snowball disaster, increasing scores and crushing their confidence.

That’s part of why we all play, right? To try to catch the spell for a round, a holeor, hell, just one shot! I know it is for me, and that’s why I wanted to prove myself by playing in my first member-guest tournament – which turned out to be a harder pill to swallow.

What I learned during my first member-guest event

It’s hard to complain when you get to play a former US Open site as Chambers Bay three days in a row. Add in the fact that it was 70 degrees and sunny for most of the guest event — a rarity for the Pacific Northwest this time of year — and the setting couldn’t have been more stunning.

But golf is about more than just spectacular views and dreamy layouts: it’s about low scores, and that’s why my first member-guest tournament was a real struggle.

The format was very simple, with Day 1 being a 9 hole, 2 player best ball. Days 2 and 3 were both four-ball stroke play, with scores from these two rounds being added at the end to determine the winners.

Don’t worry, my partner and I didn’t smell the top of the rankings.

1/3

2/3

3/3

Now, look, my teammate for the event was a friend of mine who’s an 18 handicap, so with my 15 handicap, it’s not like we were sending the A team to the damn thing. However, we were hopeful that we could at least compete. And like any delusional golfer, there was talk of “winning it all” on the hour-long drive from Seattle to Chambers Bay.

We are crazy with medium handicappers.

The results were so poor that I actually debated whether or not I wanted to write this story – but if you want to see the gore, you can see the final rankings here. To be honest, I’m embarrassed with the way I played and I know it’s not the level of golfer I am. I expect more from myself, but then again, golf is TOUGHso maybe the golf gods were just being cruel to me as a “newbie” to the golf tournament world?

But my job is to be the voice of average golfers everywhere, sharing experiences with fellow amateurs to help break down stigmas and push ourselves to try new things as golfers. So if someone with a disability like me can play in a competitive golf tournament, so can you. If I have to be a guinea pig, I’m up to the task.

If you are thinking of playing in a golf tournament for the first time, do it. Just be sure to read some of the things I learned on my first member-guest tour – they may help you perform better than I did at Chambers Bay.

Set realistic expectations

As mentioned above, my teammate and I went into member-guest with false expectations. Neither of us had ever played in an event like this before, so we had no idea what to expect. We were excited, worried, nervous and optimistic.

But with great expectations can come great disappointments, and we felt even more pressure to perform after every shot – good and bad. We didn’t want to ruin a perfect car, so we pressed in our approach shot. Similarly, we wanted to hit heroic shots if our tee shots left us in trouble, which only compounded any problems.

Keep to yourself and just play your game. It’s not easy to do, but to be successful in a tournament environment, it’s a must.

Embrace your impostor syndrome

When you have the head of the eyes, it is easy for him golf anxiety to kick into high gear – which we all experience at one point or another. Now when those observers are golfers who are strangers, well, you find yourself pressing a little more.

During our tour, we found ourselves trying to go shot for shot with the people we were playing with, even when we knew we didn’t have the same skill.

So just because a guy bombed his driver 320 yards holding one of Chambers’ nasty bunkers doesn’t mean we have to hit that kind of shot. Instead, it would be smarter to settle for something more comfortable, throw a ball down the road, and avoid the mistakes that mindlessly added to the strikeouts. Unfortunately, we didn’t.

Distract yourself with words everything but golf (but know your audience)

For me, this was the biggest difference between a casual round of golf and playing in a member-guest golf tournament – because the competition is not casual.

When I’m playing with friends on a casual Saturday, we’re busy making little side bets or screwing each other over, keeping the mood light, fun, and relaxed. While we never engaged in any shame during this member-guest event, it was clear these guys didn’t want any side chat. They were focused on their next shot, or dialing in their mindset before a big shot.

It was a big change from what my teammate and I were used to, and it really threw us both for a loop. Instead of settling down and playing cool, we let the added pressure get in our heads, which ultimately threw us off our game. The rounds were fun, no doubt, but they were certainly more serious.

Use every handicap shot on a hole

Another difficult thing to adjust to was free shots with my teammate on some holes. For example, since he’s an 18 handicap and I’m a 15 handicap, there were times when a long par-5 was actually a par-6 for us (meaning our score would be a net if we scored a six, and a net bird if we scored a five).

Unfortunately, our games never matched that advantage.

Instead, we pressed on and tried to play the hole as marked on the scoreboard – a real disadvantage given our abilities. If you’re getting free shots because of your handicap index, adjust your game to play more confidently and less aggressively. You don’t have to do this on every hole, but pick your spots, use smart course management and don’t get discouraged if you need an extra shot to get to the green.

The preparation is great, but the execution is greater

“I feel great, man, I’m hitting the ball great on the range,” I’d tell my teammate before each round of the member-guest event.

Now ask me how it translated into the course.

Don’t get me wrong, I hit some good shots during the golf tournament. But there were many times when the intimidating layout that Chambers presents completely destroyed me.

Like many amateurs, I focused on the results of my pre-round session, rather than the process. I bombed the driver to try and give me confidence, but ignored the short game practice and putting – where strokes were added in a hurry during the event.

I worked only in strengths of my game on the range, and dismissed the weaknesses. So when it came time to execute those tough shots down the field, I had little chance of seeing success.

The short game is more important in member-guest golf tournaments

Speaking of the short game, boy does it make a difference in these types of tournaments. We’ve all heard the phrase, “drive for show and putt for dough” before, and when it comes to competitive golf, that couldn’t be more true.

The pins at Chambers were driven into corners, and the slopes on and around the greens were unforgiving, so putts that made contact from 50 yards in were the ones that excelled.

It’s fun to try to show off your drive, but when you’re putting from 20 yards to save par and the other group has an 8-footer for birdie, a little added distance to the driver isn’t so good.

So if you really want to compete in a member-guest golf tournament, I suggest you work on your short game and putting ahead of a round Had I done so, who knows, maybe the disastrous results would have looked – and felt – a little differently?

While my teammate and I had our ups and downs throughout – and yes, more ups than ups – overall, it was an incredible experience. It gave us a chance to play golf at a top rated course, meet new people and prove ourselves as golfers.

And you know what? We will come back next year better prepared and ready in fact go win this thing. Call us delusional…but that’s just part of being a golfer.

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Nick Dimengo

Editor of Golf.com