Time zones are rubbish. Why can’t we have everything at once? Life will be much easier. But because of the time zone, many of us fans in sensible countries are forced to drag our old bodies out of bed with the crack of sparrows to watch the MotoGP races. After 45 minutes we sleepless/dead people were made to question our life choices.
The Japanese GP was surprisingly dull. Stunned from white lead on a busy Tuesday. but why? What things have collided so safely and uninterestingly to prove that what we endure is so boring?
Let’s find out together…
Tire pressures
The worst tournament in what could have been the worst season. Nothing happened. And nothing looks like it and the finger of blame is pointed at Michelin’s awful front tire.
- Japan’s boring standard: second-hand Nissan Leaf
Wars that don’t exist
The two arch rivals are battling it out on points with the championship seemingly going down to the wire. But where is the gladiatorial battle for the prestigious MotoGP title between proven champion Pecco Bagnaia and rookie Jorge Martin? Nowhere. All we can find about it is your ass.
The coupling is not thrown on the track or off the road. hardly ever. What is it worth? It is very special to know that the two top riders in the world are not trying to break each other’s knee.
- Japanese boring standard: boiled noodles
Ine Bastianini
In racing, Inea, whose real name is Eric, is in a comfortable second place behind Bagnaia. Life was good for the bread Italian man mindlessly munching on the proverbial salsiccia. Then, with just two laps to go, frustration in the form of Marc Marquez began to hunt him down and upset Bastianini’s ‘rocking chair on the balcony’.
And here’s where it gets incredibly annoying. After a few passes/re-passes between the combination (sadly ended up being the highlight of the weekend) ‘La Bastard’ picked up the pace on the final lap and took Marc and his parts-bin Ducati out of hibernation. This burst of pace saw the lazy Italian catch Bagnaia in front of him which begs the question – why hasn’t he done this before?
- Japan’s Boring Level: Fukushima Visitor Center
Marquez penalty
At MGPN we are neither pro nor anti Marc Marquez. But we’re a fan of punches. If something causes a bit of a stir and ruffles a few feathers, we’re all for it. It’s even better if it causes tears on the internet.
As a result, we fully believe that Mark’s penalty for touching the green should have been overturned. It’s so small that it’s completely believable and having the most dangerous rider on the grid at the front of the race may have injected some adrenaline into the carcass of a dead event.
But it is not. His lap was scrapped and once again the Spanish Antichrist was forced to start on the third row…he then battled his way to the front…but never quite caught the leaders.
- Japanese boring standard: Brown Honda Deauville
Adjust GP23.
Mysteriously, all Ducati GP23 machines received a ‘downgrade’ in Japan. Sadly, with every team in GP23 infused with pure bologna juice, no one can say anything. But by all accounts the power has noticeably dropped and the operating system has been downgraded to Windows Vista. Even Franco Morbidelli, who is less well-known than I am from the never-ending GOCITY website, can now beat GP23 riders on his superior bike.
why? who knows. The smart money is to stop any rider (i.e. Marc Marquez) interfering in the Ducati championship.
- Japanese Boring Level: Cherry Blossom
Pedro Acosta
Super stoat Pedro Acosta himself is no slouch. Any Ducati rider claiming a pole that breaks Pete Bier’s pant leg in search of cottage voles is okay in our books.
Sadly, Acosta seemed to be the only rider willing to take the fight to Peco…but he fell in both races.
- Japan’s Boring Level: The Life of a Manga Comic Fan
Japanese MotoGP bikes
The Eastern MotoGP manufacturers would rather dishonor their name and their dead ancestors than their own Rising Noodle House backyard. A blistering team performance by Honda and Yamaha saw their riders fill six of the last seven finishing places. Fortunately, Joan Mir knew better and didn’t manage before falling a lap in both races.
With no progress in sight, this trend may last longer than the Yamato dynasty.
- Japan’s boring standard: Japanese MotoGP bikes
