Jake Paul vs. Chavez Jr’s VIP Ringside Box of $ 1 million

Just then. Set up the shrimp, throw the too expensive Prosecco and roll out the mat for the least qualified VIPs in fighting history – because Jake Paul against Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. Just selling a $ 1 million “owner’s experience” to a law firm that probably Think Dazn is a cryptocurrency.

Most valuable promotions officially took boxing, subdued it in Cologne and threw it out to LinkedIn’s best. This Coral – Yes, this is what they call the luxury cage – now belongs to a firm for personal injuries that thought that access to Jake Paul Shadowboxing a Broken Chavez jr. Worth more than most houses.

Who bought it? A law firm for personal injuries. The guys at Torklaw call it “Alignment”. Natural. Because nothing box screams like two advocates who drink Chardonnay, while Jake Paul Windmills hits a man who stopped more times than your local Sunday League goalkeeper. Mate, the only thing that is aligned here is your wallet with the Grif of MVP.

And if you can’t cough the full million, MVPs have Emerald, diamond and platinum packages Waiting for the rest of the wannabe aristocracy. Do you still want to be important? Drop tens of thousands to put two rows back and pretend to understand what “Southpaw” means. They will still serve you the same cocktails, while Chavez jr. Spiritually leaving the stage – you just won’t get your name on Dazn.

Reza Torkzadeh of Torklaw said,
“There is something sacred about walking into an arena knowing that everything is on the right track.”
Yes Maat – Your Reputation, Your Marketing Budget and Any Track of Boxing Knowledge is definitely On the line.

You bought the million-dollar “owner’s experience” from Jake Paul against Julio Cesar Chavez Jr.?
Okay then, champion. Here’s what you, like the Diehard, seasoned, lifelong box fan you are clear (sarcasm slipping out of every pore), or probably even do in the box’s saddest dollar of $ 1 million:

• Misna “Julio” while asking your waiter when Jake Paul fights “the Mexican man.”
  Instagram caption: “Ready to see El Churro throwing hands #vipvibes #corralcrew”
• Explain your partner loudly that “TKO” stands for “total knockout.”
  Because nothing impresses the crowds of the shrimp like being wrong with confidence.
• Argue that Jake Paul ‘beat that UFC man once’, as it means something.
  Instagram caption: “Jake Ko’d Tyrone Woodly, Bro. Put some respect for it #legendtalk”
• Ask the nearest fighter for a selfie, then say, “Wait, what Paul brother are you again?”
  Bonus points if it’s Holly Holm.
• Film The Walkouts as you are at Coachella, and then ask, ‘So how many quarters are again in a round?’
  Instagram caption: “Ringwalks hit otherwise if you don’t know the sport #maineventenergy” “
• Call Chavez Sr. “That Spanish guy from the intro video” while Prosecco is spilled on your VIP cord.
  Instagram caption: “Love Boxing’s rich history #juliowho?”
• Keep going to check your watch and asking hard, “When does the right fight start?”
  Especially after round six, once Chavez jr. With his own angle starts to fight and Jake starts playing to the leading driving cameras.
• Get up and cheer for Jake if he throws a stitch, and then ask, “Was it a capital letter?”
  Instagram caption: “Jab? Hook? Whatever it was – Basis #knockemoutjake”
• Ask security where the Octagon is and whether it is the same event that Conor McGregor’s are in.
  Instagram caption: “Big MMA energy tonight, let’s go in goo #boxingor, whatever”
• Take a selfie during round three with your back after battle. Because of course.
  Instagram caption: “We came. We bent. We forgot to look at. #millionondollarblur”
• Google “How many rounds are boxing?” While trying to find the sushi tray again.
  Instagram caption: “Boxing is a long sport. Anyone saw the sake?
• Slap for a repetition of Jake who is missing with six inches and shouts, “Let’s go goooo!” Like it’s Hagler against Hearns.
  Instagram caption: “That fog was elite, bro. He means it #strategymaster”
• Use Dazn’s camera cut off to blow to your friends and miss the only clean punch of the night.
  Instagram caption: “made it on TV while the fight still loaded #vipconfired ”
  
  For that is what real Fans do: Commodify the sport until it is only background sounds for influencing networks.

The whole event is a tragic parody – A corporate fantasy camp for wealthy guys who don’t know about a footstool. Jake Paul is not a boxer, he is a walking billboard that has mastered the visual art to earn mediocrity. Chavez jr.? A Legacy Wasland still trades his father’s name while running from the real competition.

MVP’s Nakisa Bidarian calls it “a night to remember”. You bet. We will remember it, because the nightbox didn’t just sell out – it rolled over, pulled out a velvet rope and made the bloodless posts drink through a crystal straw.