Jack from Santa Barbara writes: I have a friend who curses quite regularly on the course; it helps him blow off steam. The other day, we were paired with someone who was visibly offended. Should my friend return it?
Whoever said profanity is a failure of imagination never gave much thought to all the playful ways there are to swear. This is true both on and off the course. Etiquetter has been known to use the f-word here and there, and not only ahead. The other. It can come in handy when a flick takes out the lips or a car drives away a tree in the drink.
Which means: The impulse to swear is understandable.
Whether such language is socially acceptable is another matter. And as with most things golf, it depends – on the company and the context. The rules about speaking as a sailor on the course are pretty much the same as in life: not in front of the kids, your boss, your babysitter, or pretty much anyone you’ve just met. Save it for your friends who know that when you say, “Oh, for f’s sake,” you mean yourself, not them.
Self-directed rants can also be amusing. A golfer who muttered, “Nice shot, you (bloodshed) genius,” after blasting one in a bunker it’s really just mocking their stupidity. But when the tongue turns outward—when someone barks, “Don’t talk to my f—ing ball!” – dynamic displacements. This is not humor; this is hostility, a sign of a deeper inner darkness. The etiquette expert can only wonder what this class of cutthroats is doing behind the wheel.
Speech has its place. It also has its limits. It can be funny and cathartic in small doses. But when every other word is four letters, it starts to sound like arrested development. Ryder Cup witnesses who thought shouting obscenities at Rory McIlroy referred to as a joke.
There is a line between expression and excess, and it is not too difficult to distinguish. Even the tagger knows when to hold his tongue – most of the time. When in doubt, read the room and draw a reference from your life outside the course. If you wouldn’t say it at the dinner table, you probably shouldn’t shout it down the street.
Save the full meltdowns for the drive home.
