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Aaron from San Diego writes: Last week, I matched with a single at my local course. As we were moving from the first team, he asked me if I wanted to play a friendly match. He said it was “about a 7”, which is mine handicap indexthat’s how i got it, OK. However, with a few holes, it was very clear that this guy was a lot better than he said he was. He bombed it around 280 off the tee. I don’t think he missed a fairway, and he can putt. Bottom line: I was crushed. Our match wasn’t that big – $10 a pair – but this guy had definitely lied to me. I paid it, but could I have saved by canceling the bet?
Dear Aaron:
Ah, golf, the great game of honor. Except when it isn’t. Never mind what we are often told. There is nothing inherently “honorable” about holding a ball over a pin in the ground. Having a good time doesn’t make you one honest person. We golfers are only human. And while most of us follow the rules, some of us don’t. Any claim to the contrary—that playing the game is somehow a test of noble character—does it Etiquetters eyes involuntarily roll back into his head.
Bernie Madoff was a golfer. Nuff said.
How to spot a shame is another matter. One school of thought says that you should never bet against a stranger with a worn spot on the toe of his or her shoe, a telltale sign, in the opinion, of a pro-caliber movement. Etiquette has a simpler rule: never bet against anyone named Lee Trevino, or anyone who says they’re “about 7.”
Indeed, however, there is a certain way of knowing.
All we can do is play the game with integrity and hope others do the same.
Which brings us to your question. Based on your description, it looks like you got it filled with sandalthough we cannot be sure. What we can say for sure is that a bet is a bet. No one forced you to do it. Refusing it would have put you in the wrong. As much as it must have stung to open your wallet to a guy who is likely to cheat on you, it would cost you more not to pay him. You would have broken your word, and your word is probably worth more than $30. Break it up with a (relatively) inexpensive lesson learned.