How self-addict can help – and hurt – your game

What is your golf handicap? No, not your stream game index. I’m talking about your self-handicap, defined as your favorite excuse after an under par shot or a much higher round – and unlike what’s next to your name on the GHIN, it has nothing to do with how compete. Instead, it’s all about how you compete against yourself.

Self-efficacy is a psychological term for the rationalizations we make to protect our self-esteem. We don’t like to fail, so we preemptively and defensively identify a reason why we might. Two summers ago, in fact, this magazine ranked the most common startup excuses — alibis like “I didn’t get a chance to warm up,” “I’ve never played this course before,” or the curvy list-topper, “I haven’t played in a while.” How many of these have you heard – or said – this season?

I do it too. One recent Saturday, in the rain, I was playing poorly. Shot after shot, I heard myself moan. “My hands are wet,” I said. Then, after the rain stopped, “These gloves are old.” On the back nine was: “I didn’t bring another glove.” I kept finding excuses to make myself feel better about the missed shots.

Professional golfers come up with their own versions of these self-harming excuses. In a recent PGA Tour event, the co-leader chipped his wedge into the water on 18. He stared at his clubface as if the damaged grooves had ruined the shot.

What’s going on here? Excuses serve a productive purpose in that they keep us from seeing our mistakes as personal failures. But as academic self-identification researchers have found, this tactic has another benefit: it actually helps us enjoy the game more because it helps us reduce negative outcomes. As most commentators on the mental game of golf suggest, we usually play better when we stop obsessing over our score.

The authors of an important study on this corner of sports psychology found that pinball players who used excuses like those golfers relied on—”I didn’t practice,” for example—were much more present in their games. Excuses, research suggests, create less anxiety, less stakes, more room for fun and permission to be imperfect.

Excuses can also be a reflection of a participant’s passion. We care about how golf makes us feel. This love of the game and desire to succeed was a big part of what I was experiencing during my drowning round.

But self-handicapping isn’t always the best strategy for every golfer—certainly not my fellow PGA pros. Tournament players depend on high performance and are paid for results. Excuses that avoid responsibility also inhibit learning, inhibit growth, and limit resilience.

Learn from 2024 Olympic gold medalist Scottie Scheffler. On the 7th hole of his second round, Scottie found himself getting hacked by a terrible lie into the long grass. He took a big swing that took his divot farther than the ball. The next shot’s lie wasn’t much better. Of that similar disappointing sequence, Scheffler said, “I know if I stay patient on this golf course and play well, I can get a low score. It’s just a matter of if I start freaking out and start forcing things, you’re going to be in trouble pretty quickly.”

Scheffler didn’t dwell on the bad shot that got him into trouble, nor the disappointing attempt to get out of it. Instead of getting down on himself, he stayed focused and positive.

That’s the difference between an amateur like me who gripes about my controls and the pro who blames it bug in his ball. Despite all the side benefits of excuses, they still set a negative tone. After all, how many start with “I haven’t” or “I haven’t”? On a professional level, negativity is kryptonite for concentration and energy depletion.

One of my clients was recently comparing his range game to his real game and made an astute observation: “I hit it too well in practice to not realize that when I’m playing on tour, I have more likely to lose pace or start. to feel tension and not swing freely.” In competition, swing coaches say, the pressure changes the player’s physical movements, compromising everything from swing planes to wrist tension and rhythm.

Golf is hard; to evaluate ourselves honestly is even more difficult. For the amateur, the awareness you read about earlier in this column remains the key to success. If self-handicapping helps you enjoy your time outside, that’s great. It’s important to have fun. Just be aware of what your excuses are and aren’t—and when you hear them from your playing partners, there’s no need to roll your eyes. Understand their frustrations, stay focused on your game and move on to your next shot.

Excuses are like cholesterol: there is a good kind and a bad kind. But there are no good excuses for being unaware.

Julie Elion has worked with half of the top 10 winners of all time, representing over $500 million in career earnings, 150 PGA Tour wins and 25 major championship victories.