The MotoGP feature race in Indonesia saw a high rate of results, leaving us with only 12 finishes. This means that Taka Naka is on a Honda, got a tire pressure penalty, is on a Honda, even stopped testing 18 months ago, and is still on a Honda (being on a Honda counts triple). An excuse to dip into MotoGP). Can we describe the enormity of this feat with movie references? Who gives a rat’s ass? But anyway, let’s find out!
Which movie characters were highly valued as MotoGP riders in Indonesia? Here are the options:
Bowling Pin in The Big Lebowski (1998)
This film tells the story of a man named El Duderino (not a short story in general) who must investigate the mystery of the trophy wife who put his beloved on the carpet and snatched away the trophy wife with a fat and annoying weapon. It’s basically the story of Raymond Chandler, when Chandler decides to take a load of LSD instead of drinking Gin Gimlet cocktails. There is a lot of bowling in the movie, and bowling pins fall like MotoGP riders in Indonesia.
Xenomorphs in Aliens (1986)
Aliens is a sci-fi horror masterpiece directed by James Cameron (it’s technically Canadian, but it’s so presumptuous and obnoxious that it’s generally classified as California). A group of Colonial Marines walk around shooting a bunch of xenomorphs (excuse me xenomorph???) with millions of detonated, pointless ammo. MotoGP riders are blown away like evil aliens blown off the track by Jack Miller in Indonesia.
Bandits with Magnum Power (1973)
The Dirty Harry sequel features Clint Eastwood’s character battling rogue motorcycle cops. That’s like half the MotoGP field mysteriously disappearing into gravel traps during the Indonesian GP. How these cops can chase bad guys over 250 meters on Moto Guzzis without suffering a catastrophic electrical failure and breaking down is never explained. However, eagle-eyed observers will notice that the beautiful but horribly built Italian bikes magically transform into lighter, more efficient and slightly more reliable triumphs.
Arachnids in Starship Troopers (1997)
This mercilessly satirical film predates both the US invasion of Afghanistan and the second invasion of Iraq. But because of some preconceived notions, he mocks the way brave young people have been sacrificed in both senseless conflicts for the service of the evil military-industrial complex. Complex. The aliens in this movie are called Arachnids, and they come regardless of whether they’re disappearing from timelines like MotoGP riders.
Enemy Soldiers in Commando (1985)
Arnold Schwarzenegger has to rescue his young daughter Jenny from a P.D.D. party on Epstein Island or something like that. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. Either way, the only thing that matters to him is Jenny. He doesn’t care how many henchmen he has to send out to find their maker, he takes them all down with a variety of tools in one of the greatest action scenes Hollywood has ever produced. Sergey Eisenstein’s visual poetry blends with Zucker-Abraham-Zucker comedy, as the baddies wipe out half the MotoGP field at Buriram.
