Three horse race
A three horse race is much better than a two horse race…especially if the two horses have the same trainer and want one to win more than the other. The MotoGP Championship needs a third wheel to enter the boring yo-yo Bagnaia vs Martin snoozefest. And before the main race we had two riders who wanted to be one rider to join the two riders.
First we had lazy Innea Bastianini. ‘The Bastard’ is known for great tire management which often gives him an advantage late in the race. The Italian achieved this by not putting in much effort in the first half of the competition. Trying is ‘their’ problem.
In Lombok, Bastianini was chasing the leaders after a sleepy first half to promote himself as a genuine championship contender and to support the theory that ‘trying hard’ is not necessary, knowing that even if you are not a Mexican. However, after much effort, a vital component kicked in and a new form of gamma-aminobutyric acid was released. As a result, Enya’s neurotransmitters stopped concentrating and he collapsed.
The second potential third wheel was the Spanish Antichrist, Marc Marquez. The Satellite Ducati rider was heading into the championship lead after Aragon’s success – a success that coincided with the high use of amitriptyline in Italy. For one of the six remaining independent MotoGP fans on the planet, the prospect of adding such a chaotic and potentially dangerous element to the mix made us swoon over Stephen Hawkins. He knew this.
So it was very convenient that Marc’s bike was on fire as he put in his personal fastest lap and started chasing the leaders. And the presence of paraffin-encrusted dried grass and twigs on his show is also a coincidence.
The fire ended Marquez’s run and effectively the championship, much to the delight of Italy.
Finding a worthy champion
Some seasons the MotoGP champion really deserves to win. They don’t do it any other time – like that weird covid year when Joan Mir won (according to Wikipedia). This season is entering column B.
The two championship contenders cannot decide who should win. One takes command of the points only to fail and hand over to the other. This time it was George Martin’s turn to crash as he led the opening lap of the sprint race. Do either of the two riders deserve the title?
Brave journalists who like to block people on Twitter
Imagine if you were a MotoGP journalist who was so smart and self-righteous that if anyone dared to share your opinion on Twitter, you could block them instead of arguing the differences. If you were like that, you would be fat too.
Well the bad news is that Elon Musk, the eccentric millionaire and owner of X, has had enough of these blocking tactics and is killing the feature in the near future. This leads to some tears between meals…
Factory KTM riders
Both factory KTM riders left Indonesia humiliated by the performance of super stote Pedro Acosta on the B-stock RC16 (probably not a real place). While all the other KTM riders complained and lamented the performance of their bikes over the weekend, young Muslid took the front row and finished second in the main event.
Acosta, who grew up in a well near A. WaterwayHe collected an impressive 24 points at Mandalika over the weekend, while Brad Binder could only manage 8 and Jack Miller a big fat zero.
Bali
Ruined by Australian tourists. Lombok, next door, is not only a MotoGP circuit, but also much less of a dump.
Alex Espargaro
The aging Spaniard proved that experience is ‘just a number’ as he fell almost 50 times over the weekend.
Miguel Olivera’s luck
Poor Miguel has very bad luck. When a black cat crosses the street, it is usually dragging the Wi-Fi router with it. It’s a man who was hit by a car in Venice.
And the luck continued when his “Aprilia Great Again” Trackhouse Aprilia suffered a software error during free practice. For every other rider a ‘software bug’ might cause their bike’s LCD screen to flicker or a false warning light to appear, but not for poor Oliveira. A bug that had never happened to another rider before or since for him destroyed the traction control system which caused the Aprilia rider to be thrown from the machine. Fortunately, the accident was slow, but unfortunately it was the unlucky Miguel Oliveira, he has a chance, he fell without a chance and broke his wrist.
The final insult to the unfortunate Portuguese rider is that there is no salt cod on the hospital menu.
All of this happened at a very busy time of the season, which meant that Miguel would miss many races. How about a lottery loser?
