The former European 400m champion explains why he chose to be so honest in his autobiography and how he hopes his story will help others.
Ivan Thomas has never taken the easy way out. In fact, he was doing everything to make his life difficult. For example? The former European 400m champion would drive up to a nearby ski center instead of parking directly outside the Southampton track where he was training.
Why? Because that way he has to go further and down the 76 degree ladder to get to the treadmill. More importantly, though, he has to struggle back up those stairs after his session, usually jumping somewhere along the way.
In his mind, it was just one more way to push himself a little harder, one more way to make his already sore legs burn harder, one more thing his rivals, especially his British teammate Mark Richardson, wouldn’t do.
“They asked me: “Why did you park there?” Thomas recalled. “I lied and just said it was more private there, but the truth is I knew Mark Richardson would finish his session at Windsor, then get to his car or back to a nice indoor warm-up track, get a massage, then go home. :
“I knew I would be sick when I finished (training). After 40 minutes I would finally be able to retrieve my gear and then have to walk 76 steps to my car. My legs would be screaming, but I knew that with the possible exception of (1992 Olympic 4x400m bronze medalist) David Grindley, no one trained as hard as I did.
Ivan Thomas (Mark Shearman)
“Maybe it was stupid to park on the ski slope, but it gave me that little mental edge. As I lined up and looked at my competitors, I thought: “Yeah, you want it, but you don’t want it as much as I do, because you’re not an idiot parked on top. on the ski slope. It was just (one of) the things I did to help myself.”
Thomas now admits that this all-out attack philosophy always backfired in the long run. He is in a reflective mood when he talks AW:the purpose of the video call is to talk about his new autobiography, Cruel. This is an extremely honest story about someone who took on everything, everywhere at once, whether it was to win the approval of his father, to be complimented by his demanding coach Mike Smith, or to compete for the biggest titles in the sport. managed to fall in love again, but also started to hate for a while.
The tale of 76 strides speaks volumes for Thomas, the 25-year-old British 400m record holder, European and Commonwealth champion in 1998, and world champion and Olympic silver medalist in the 4x400m relay. When things were good for the 50-year-old, they were very, very good. But when they were bad, they were terrible.
His body struggled to cope with the demands he kept putting on it, and eventually it gave out. As usual, there have been plenty of occasions when Thomas has struggled to claw his way back from injury with one final spurt, but his fairy-tale wish of bowing to the big fan never materialised. Instead, he had to accept being pushed into the background.
Ivan Thomas (Mark Shearman)
“I think (going all-in on everything) was probably my downfall, too,” he says. “Even as a young lad when I was racing BMX it was all or nothing. I don’t know if it’s an addictive personality, but I used to get something out of being the best, or putting myself up against the best and giving them a bloody good race.
“Whether it was on the school field, kicking a football, a rugby ball in my hand, whatever it was, there was a do-or-die mentality in my mind that I had to win everything. I still have that. Now it’s been rejected a little, but I’ve always given it my all.”
It’s an attitude he’s also embraced in his second career as a broadcaster, TV personality, stadium announcer and now author.
“Putting pen to paper for parts of the book was really quite therapeutic, and sometimes it’s nice to reflect,” says Thomas. “But then there are other chapters where things got a little darker for me and it was quite difficult.
“It took me a long time to accept that I wasn’t Ivan Thomas the athlete anymore, and it took a long, long time for me to come to terms with the fact that my body let me down and my career didn’t end well. the way I’d like it to be done.”
Ivan Thomas
He admits it was the darkest time, but there have been ups and downs. Depression crept up on him. Each injury was a severe test of his physical and mental abilities to recover, but he was programmed to never ask for help.
“Since I came from a difficult event, I was six feet two years old, I never showed weakness,” he continues. “That was my strength on the starting line. I would shut down my opponents and want them to fear me.
“So I felt that when I was going through a dark time, when I was hurt, I couldn’t reach out and say, “Hey listen everyone, I’m really having a hard time mentally here. I don’t know if I’m going to go back. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life.”
“I felt “If I show any weakness then, if I get back on the track, they’ll know there’s a chink in my armor and I’m not going to let that happen.” Because I was a pighead and a stubborn guy, thinking “I’m fine” and not talking to anyone, I kind of bottled it up and made it worse for myself. I have been honest in the book, showing that there is a side of the sport that is not great; it’s hard, lonely, and soul-crushing.”
Thomas’ hope is that his words will help other athletes who may be struggling to avoid the mistakes he made and make sure to open up and talk to someone.
But to say he views athletics through the prism of a completely angry ex-pro would be a complete understatement. This isn’t a sermon condemning the evils of athletics, and the father of three won’t hesitate to get his young lads involved when the time is right.
Laura Muir and Ivan Thomas (Mark Shearman)
“It’s an amazing sport and I also think it teaches you a lot of life lessons that you can then take into the real world,” he says. “When they are old enough, I will 100 percent encourage my boys to do athletics. I’m not sitting here as a curmudgeonly, old, retired man thinking that sports are scary for me, because they’re not. I have a very happy lifestyle because sport has given me something and I will always be grateful for that opportunity.”
Thomas’ pitch changes and the enthusiasm level rises a bit as we get to his old event trickery. After his retirement, the rest of the British men’s 400m, as well as Roger Black, Jamie Bolch and Richardson, is being replaced by a new sense of hope. Matthew Hudson-Smith is now not only the British record holder, but also the fastest European in history. Charlie Dobson, to whom Thomas has been a constant advisor, is also beginning to show his clear potential.
They’re rivals, to use the book’s title, an event that’s “brutal,” but its black-and-white nature is part of the appeal.
“Maybe I’m a bit of a sadist, but I enjoyed the 400m,” says Thomas. “I didn’t do very well in the 200m, I never tried the 800m, but for the 400m I was really taking the pain in training.
“Maybe it was my weird way of self-harming or pushing my body to the limit, but I think either way, the better you are, the better the difference between winning and losing. The stopwatch doesn’t lie, does it? You either run fast or you don’t. You either jump high, you jump far, you throw far, or you don’t.
“I think it takes a combination of things to be a good 400m runner. You need speed, speed endurance, you definitely need strength and you need something there too,” he adds, tapping the side of his head and grinning. “Actually, you must be missing something there.
“You have to be a bit crazy to run the 400m. You gotta love pain. In the starting blocks, I never thought. “Oh, that’s a whole lap of the track. The last 30 meters can hurt. I would think things like: I’d attack the race and, yeah, it would hurt a little bit at the end and then I’d be sick, but then I’d go home and feel great.”
In the here and now, Thomas is also doing pretty well with a busy schedule ahead of him that includes the Paris Olympics. So, from his current vantage point, what advice would he give to his younger self?
“Listen to your body. Don’t be afraid to stand up to your coach, and if you know something’s wrong, it probably isn’t,” she says. “There were a couple of times where I’d have a bit of cramping or something would get a bit tight and I’d think I could go on and then I’d tear my hamstring and be out for weeks.
“I would also tell myself that everything is going to be okay. Life is going to be good, and it’s beyond athletics.
“I would also say enjoy your youth because you won’t be young forever. You think you’re going to have a six pack forever and that you’re going to be the fastest, the strongest. You’re not. Before you know it, you’re going to be 50 years old working out in the gym, most nights, trying to keep up with your youth and remember how you used to be.”
This last comment is followed by a self-deprecating laugh, as is the perfect note on which it ends.
“You should enjoy it too. Either way, you really have to realize that you are a part of a great sport. Make hay while the sun shines. Listen to your body, but when you’re in shape, just enjoy it. If you’re the kind of person who likes to race, get out there and race. If you like to train and don’t want to race that much, do it. Just find your happy place.”
It took time to get there, but that’s exactly what Thomas has done.
Brutal by Ivan Thomas is out now.
» This feature first appeared in the July issue of AW magazine. S:subscribe here
The post Ivan Thomas’ new book pulls no punches appeared first AW:.
