Before you sit down to your Thanksgiving meal, please enjoy a big helping of bad golf titles from last season.
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With Thanksgiving officially here, tradition beckons the president of the USA to pardon a turkey. But in this space, we shine a light on them – with an end-of-season retrospective, highlighting the past year’s most memorable putts and gaffes on the golf course. Let’s break down our annual Turkey Awards.
Barney Fife Award for Excessive Policing
Winners: Officers, Louisville Metropolitan PD
If you can’t beat ’em, book ’em. Of all the unexpected sports images of 2024, none was more surprising than the sight of the famously beautiful two-shoe Scottie Scheffler in an orange prison T-shirt. The hit came courtesy of Louisville Metro PD, whose bids arrested the world No. 1 as he tried to get around a narrow block in the morning outside. Valhalla Golf Club before the second round of The PGA Championship. In fairness to the cops, the scene was chaotic: dark, rainy, heavy traffic. But the charges against Scheffler, including second-degree assault of a police officer and third-degree criminal mischief, were tainted from the outset by the principal. Scheffler took his time — and the cut — but how he could have gotten through the event without that Friday distraction became a big deal.”What if?” to a golfer in the midst of a historically hot run. In a far less shocking development than the initial incident, the charges against Scheffler were quickly dropped.
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Susie Essman Award for Working Blue in the Booth
Winner: Morgan Pressel
Almost without exception, golf broadcasts are family friendly. No wonder the hype is over Morgan Pressel when the NBC/Golf Channel analyst switched to R-rated material during live coverage of women’s Olympic golf. Shocked at the moment when describing Brooke Henderson’s aggressive game, Pressel enthused: “She’s on. You like to see that.” Although we won’t clutch our pearls and pretend to be offended – mostly, it was funny and, hey, it happens, right? — we were irritated the next day when Pressel offered a verbal mea culpa that bordered on gaslighting. “I tripped over my words and unfortunately it felt like I said something inappropriate and I’m really sorry it came across like that because I would never say that on air in a broadcast.” Um, but you did.
Broken Ray-Ban Award for Bad Optics
Winner: Matt Kuchar
Of the 156 players who entered the 2024 Wyndham Championship, some missed the cut and some made the weekend, but only one played until Monday. That was it Matt Kucharwho, in the fading light on Sunday evening, chose to chip his ball on the long par-4 18th after driving it rough rather than finish his final hole. Although Kuchar claimed his goal was altruistic — he said he thought it would benefit his playing partner, Max Greyserman, to stop and that he wanted to make it “easy” for Greyserman to do so — his reasoning declared raised eyebrows among skeptics who thought Kuchar was just out for a higher-paid finish that would hardly be a small thing for a man with $58 million in career earnings. Whatever the motive, the move meant tournament officials and volunteers had to stick around an extra day so a single golfer could finish the game. Seen through any lens, it was a selfish look.
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“Dewey Beats Truman” Premature Party Award
Winner: Si Woo Kim
After making an unimaginable chip shot during Saturday’s foursome at the Presidents Cup, Si Woo Kim walked onto the green with his hands pressed to his cheeks, mimicking Steph Curry’s famous “night of the night” gesture— t. It was a delightful impression, with just one catch: the game was tied. Two holes later, Americans Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele put Kim and his partner, Tom Kim, to bed with another birdie putt on 18, earning a full point for Team USA. Lights out, everyone.
Tom Hanks Castaway Award for Stranded Travelers
Winner: LPGA Tour
As the 19th Solheim Cup got under way at the Robert Trent Jones Golf Club in Virginia, the stands around the first team were half-empty, but not for lack of interest. A bus snafu had left crowds of would-be spectators stranded in the parking lot five miles away. In the evening, the LPGA Tour apologized to fans — and ended up offering free tickets for the weekend. But the bad start of a marquee women’s event could not be undone. It was also too late to appease critics who felt the tournament had slow communications surrounding the transportation hurdle.
Soccer Hooligan Award for Awkward Atmospheres
Winner: WM Phoenix Open
The conditions were poor and so were the fans at the 2024 edition of a tournament that could have been rebranded as Dissolved Phoenix Open Management. Huge crowds, packed walkways, muddy pitches and alcohol were key ingredients in a volatile cocktail that led to an unprecedented number of arrests and hospitalizations, along with ugly exchanges between spectators and players. When all was said and done, tournament organizers took a months-long sober look at the event and decided that the Greatest Field Show would have to return in the coming years by changing ticketing policies, traffic flow and alcoholic beverages.
The Benjamin Button While We’re Young Award for Wasting Time
Winners: Tony Finau and Alejandro Tosti
On the fourth green during the third round of the Texas Children’s Houston Open, Tony Finau and Alejandro Tosti both landed their balls 38 feet, 8 inches from the cup. But neither was willing to budge an inch; each one thought others it was far away. According to the Rules of Golf, such matters must be decided “by agreement or using a random method”. The method that Finau and Tosti chose was passive-aggressive argumentation, interrupted by gestures of frustration. Although the broadcast microphones failed to pick up their exchanges, the visuals told a story of a pair of disgruntled players, each surely wanting to have the advantage of seeing the other guy’s shot. It went on like this for 3 minutes, 23 seconds before the action resumed. Tosti ended up putting the first one. The order didn’t matter. Both players lost. Each was even, so they hadn’t dropped a beat. But the rest of us had lost precious moments of our lives.
